Bored……...

You know why things aren't continuous? Because if they were they would be receptive, expected. What you expect, you prepare for so their is no element of surprise. Thats how my life seems to be spinning or at least thats how i think of it. You know that feeling of lethargy or better ennui, where you just can't take no more so do absolutely nothing…..

The funny thing is i know nothing is gonna happen so i do nothing resulting in nothing new occurring. Call it a paradox if you will but it makes perfect sense to me. I guess thats how life is : you fall and get up. At first, we don't know how to get up. Often we take a while to get on our feet. Sometimes times we are too bored to get up because despite walking you fear their will be no pleasant scenery, only a dry endless wasteland. This analogy perfectly describes my predicament.

At times, i am verily grateful for all i have, so behave overly cheerful, social and kinda crazy. The sad thing is most of my time i waste brooding over past happier memories and forget what i have right in front of my eyes. Then by the time realization strikes my frontal lobe, there's a time warp, fast forward and a new uncomfortable background.

I openly state that i envy those that easily fit in and everyone dons their attention on. I'm not ashamed of it because that is something i'll never have or experience. Wherever i go i'm different, ever felt that way? Sometimes it's a language gap, differing interests, or just blunt racism. One thing is for sure: Childhood years are the best as nothing is more important to that innocent yet ignorant mind but to hurl the bag full of books at the foot of the stair case and scream "Mom i'm going out to play" before slamming the door shut running towards nowhere.

Just a thought….

Just a few weeks ago i was asked by my english teacher,"what are your plans after 10th grade" and i'm just like no idea. Surprisingly no one is sure about what to do about future decisions which aren't even for certain. Mostly everyone goes with the flow and if things go wrong they blame the flow or their decision to follow the flow. Then there are others who plan there lives to up to every single minute. 

What's funny is no one can be 100% confident that they'll live the next day yet we tend to never contemplate enough about death. I mean death happens to everyone so we might as well plan for it, right? The problem is that commonly people are absorbed completely by the good for nothing (except hoarding money) entertainment industry, jobs, family, children, wealth, rent, taxes, food, relationships and the list goes on.

This leaves less than half a day for our tired minds to even care about death and only wish for when it's convenient. Don't we realize that death hits everyone, there's no escape. There is absolutely no Nicholas Flemmel with his elixir of life. Before turning the page on 4000 killed in Bomb Blast, try to think about what the killed are going through and whether you would like that for yourself.

 Remember science barely touches the boundaries of where this so called 'soul' comes from so its about time you did some series soul searching. Never stop until you can confidently say, "Come to me Death even in my sleep and i'm ready". Remember death is the easy part, what comes next is the real challenge.